February 2010
1 post
;[ The end of history
I have officially doubted myself. Way too much. I have a loving boyfriend and yet I’m hell bent over someone else who has hurt me. My friends…Don’t even get me started. What happened to them? I love them, but I hate what they’re becoming. I never see any of them now. The people I loved…Gone forever? The innocence. High School has eaten them all up, chewed them, and...
January 2010
1 post
December 2009
1 post
I’m crushed….I got my hopes way up..
And you failed me…
November 2009
1 post
I.Did.Something.Wrong.
I can’t stop thinking that maybe we weren’t meant to be and I fell in love with the idea that you loved me. I think I fell in love with the man you could be. I think that I did something wrong. I think I still need to be strong. Maybe I do love you. And maybe this is true. Maybe I need to live on and hope that in the future this problem is gone. Maybe you were right. Maybe its time to...
October 2009
2 posts
16 Things I'd Thought You'd Like To Know?
1. I am taken and doubting why he chose me. 2. Making someone smile is what I live for 3. I absolutely love to take pictures and aspire to be a photographer 4. I doubt my talent at many things. I doubt my voice, face, piano playing, and my photography 5. I hate when I walk into a store without money 6. I sing because I know that its my passion 7. I make faces and blush when I’m fustrated. 8....
August 2009
1 post
Haven’t been here in a while. And well occasional I hate what people write, because they are wrong. And it pisses me off. Oh well I guess. I don’t have a power but I have a mind. And when my mind tells me that they’re wrong, I know they are. I guess I just don’t care enough to make it work.
July 2009
1 post
Hold me close, Breathe me in. Let me fall, Into sin. Say three words, And kiss my lips, All my wounds, You wish to fix. Call my name, Say it right. Keep holding my hand, Grasp it tight. Steal my heart, It is yours, False perfection, Full of flaws. Take my face, Into your hands, Pull me even deeper, Into my dream land. Time knows no limits, It’s flawless and unengaged, It makes me forget...
June 2009
6 posts
Tomorrow:Vow of Silence
Tomorrow will be my vow of silence. I need to respect the passing and ending of a life that I once loved. I need to appreciate everything that he did for me. I need to think about him and only him for a while. Its a coping method I would advice you to use. And because of Maria I feel like I need to do. I joked about him being dead and now I feel bad that I did. I miss him, yes. But I will move on....
I blame people for my depression.
GOAL!
So I feel really awkward right now. For next year I am going to be the gothic kid thats actually really happy…Do you get that? I either want to grow my hair out. And I am going to cut it really short. BUT if I do cut it, I want your opinions. Tell me what you guys think. So we have a lot of styles for next year. A lot of changes. More than likely I’m not changing my personallity, too...
May 2009
10 posts
Turned On?
mariazahir:
sydneyobeyme:
Well apparently (yes Mia I like that word) My friend Maria, aka Mia gets turned on by a man’s neck and chest. I mean it’s not uncommon, because people can get turned on by toes. And if you think that’s weird try hair, nails, chins, nose, nose haris, ears, lips, breats (both genders), left foot, right foot ANYTHING basically. And I am not going to tell you what turns...
You know. You never really noticed how much you miss that one persons touch. Holding your hand or soothing you when you are sad. The one that makes you happy when you don’t think you can be happy. But that all doesn’t matter to you untill you realize you lost them. Maybe forever.
I fall in love easily. And I fall out of it almost never. I still love all my ex’s. I miss all of...
Crap
Uh. Bad news..I don’t love Taylor
Taylor sweets.
Sydney: but I don't want you too leave. I want you to stay here with me.
Sydney: Right now.
Taylor: but babe I can't. if I had a choice. I would choose to never let you breathe without me by your side. And i wouldn't let you open your eyes.
Taylor: Because in truth when I open mine, all I want to see is you sleeping on my chest, curled up in a ball one arm rapped around me and the other on my hand. Never wanting you to let it go. But for now. that will be my motivation to see you everyday and talk to you everyday. Because I love you everyday.
Sydney: You're such a douche. But I still love you.
Taylor: Just for that I don't love you.
Sydney: WHAT?!?
Taylor: Just kidding love. Calm down. Come here. Rest your head against my shoulder and breathe. Let it out. Lay with me till the night ends. And then maybe I will let you go. Maybe. But I plan on never letting you go. Never going to let you walk away. Not unless you are holding my hand and I know that you will be okay. Because after what happened last time, you will never be alone. Not while I am there. I love you and I don't know what I would do without you.
Sydney: Yeah...You're still gay.
Taylor: But you love me for it, don't you.
Sydney: Nope. xD
Doubting me?
Doubts, we all have them. The question isn’t will you have doubts. The question is how you will respond to your doubt. Doubt is caused by a lot of things. Basically everything. Walking, running, talking, singing, writing, and et cetra. People doubt the smallest things. Love ones doubt that it will be their last day with someone. I doubt the world will ever get over the feeling of doubt.
How...
Someday.
I feel like I messed up your life.
If you must know
Sorry I haven’t posted but I’ve have some problems to deal with and may not be able to come on all that much.
I really do hope you get hit by a bus, probably have to be a big bus though. I really hope you die. Those many months i devoted to our friendship, wasted. Nothing left to show, just emptiness and a hateful feeling I get when I see you. You make me want to throw whenever I see...
April 2009
10 posts
Turned On?
Well apparently (yes Mia I like that word) My friend Maria, aka Mia gets turned on by a man’s neck and chest. I mean it’s not uncommon, because people can get turned on by toes. And if you think that’s weird try hair, nails, chins, nose, nose haris, ears, lips, breats (both genders), left foot, right foot ANYTHING basically. And I am not going to tell you what turns me on because...
This is my now.
When I sleep at night. Your face creeps into my head And reach and try to turn on the light. I swing my feet over and sit on my bed. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to sit here. But where do I go. Where do I get away There’s no where to see There’s nothing you can say Here is not the right place for me. And all I want to know. Is….
How do you feel? How did...
Po'ed-ness
PO’ed to an extent. I’m not a very angry person. I rarely get angry. I’m a pacifist and I’m more worried about people being mad at me than I am of me mad at them. I worry about their feelings more than my own. And I know this is a weird place to put it but its the only place I really have to write what I want without being judged really. Well back to the story....
Pacifist?
Maria: yah hes getting a beat down
Maria: ….of words
Maria: im a pacifist no worry ahaha
Sydney: ahah i knew what you meant. you+violence=not gonna happen
Maria : I don’t think i ever threw a punch
Sydney: what about in the third grade when people were making fun of me…i think you either said some MEAN things or hit the,
Sydney: them*
Maria: I think i said something mean
Maria I was too nice to touch someone actually back then
Sydney: ahah true you were so sweet..no wonder why we’re friends mia
Sydney: if you were mean id be scared
Maria: ahahaha
Maria If i were mean i would be scared myself
Sydney: lmao ahah is that possible?
Maria: yes
Maria: it is
Maria: ahaha
Sydney: good…id be scared for you i think
Maria: I could be mean
Maria: really mean
Maria: that you would call the cops on me
Maria: but i choose not to
Sydney: and i thank you for that XD
Once upon the runaway
I just want to run away. To get as far away as I can No one cares what I say And I can’t take not being able to stand On my own With no one to help me No one to see What I’ve done wrong
No one to knock me down And say I’m weak when I’m strong. No one gets me and I want to run. And you can’t stop me. No one can now.
I made my decision LONG ago And you can’t...
“Half of the world have something to say but can’t. The other half have...”
– Robert Frost.
Why oh why?
What happens when smart people say what others may not get?
Well one of two things happen. 1. They either pretend like they get it and try to comment back on it. But in the end, they sound dumb. 2. Or they could ask for this “smart” person to explain what they meant. This way they don’t sound dumb, but only misheard something. Note of advice…Most “smart”...