messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous. Sounds like me. My name is Sydney. And you should talk to me? XD
Tue
Feb
16
I have officially doubted myself. Way too much. I have a loving boyfriend and yet I’m hell bent over someone else who has hurt me. My friends…Don’t even get me started. What happened to them? I love them, but I hate what they’re becoming. I never see any of them now. The people I loved…Gone forever? The innocence. High School has eaten them all up, chewed them, and spit them out. I think I liked it better when I was just a shell, a shield because letting people into my heart hurts more then keeping people out. So. If I’m your friend, I’m sorry. Solitude is my only friend now. Want to get back into my heart? Some people will forever stay. Just ask me kay? Jhennipher… I love you. We should talk more ;( I missed your wisdom.
Mon
Dec
21
I’m crushed….I got my hopes way up..
And you failed me…
Sun
Nov
15
I can’t stop thinking that maybe we weren’t meant to be and I fell in love with the idea that you loved me. I think I fell in love with the man you could be. I think that I did something wrong. I think I still need to be strong. Maybe I do love you. And maybe this is true. Maybe I need to live on and hope that in the future this problem is gone. Maybe you were right. Maybe its time to say goodnight to my dreams. I think this is stupid…I still love you.
[[This is to the one that slipped away. Forever in my heart Andrew]]
Sun
Oct
11
1. I am taken and doubting why he chose me.
2. Making someone smile is what I live for
3. I absolutely love to take pictures and aspire to be a photographer
4. I doubt my talent at many things. I doubt my voice, face, piano playing, and my photography
5. I hate when I walk into a store without money
6. I sing because I know that its my passion
7. I make faces and blush when I’m fustrated.
8. I won’t sleep until I know that you’re okay
9. I hate when I miss somesone.
10. I hate when people make me smile.
11. I love when people hug me.
12. I want to hold your hand
13. Because of people I am in love with the Beatles
14. I love when people hold me and never let go.
15. Sleep is not my friend. But apparently insomnia is.
16. I love you?
Wed
Jul
29
Hold me close,
Breathe me in.
Let me fall,
Into sin.
Say three words,
And kiss my lips,
All my wounds,
You wish to fix.
Call my name,
Say it right.
Keep holding my hand,
Grasp it tight.
Steal my heart,
It is yours,
False perfection,
Full of flaws.
Take my face,
Into your hands,
Pull me even deeper,
Into my dream land.
Time knows no limits,
It’s flawless and unengaged,
It makes me forget all the wars,
That in my mind rage.
I’m aware this is a dream,
It’s too good to be true,
Because here I am standing,
I’m standing here with you.
Sun
Jun
21
Tomorrow will be my vow of silence. I need to respect the passing and ending of a life that I once loved. I need to appreciate everything that he did for me. I need to think about him and only him for a while. Its a coping method I would advice you to use. And because of Maria I feel like I need to do. I joked about him being dead and now I feel bad that I did. I miss him, yes. But I will move on. He will stay in my heart but not in the depression side. But in the side of happiness. He is with me. And I still love him. But my love will fade and I will cope with it. So thank you Maria. I need to do this. I need it. And its because of you that this has come into my focus.
Mon
Jun
15
I blame people for my depression.
